Wednesday, September 5, 2012

What's That Up Your Nose? #4

This was the WORST, or perhaps BEST What's That Up Your Nose incident we've had in this house.  I was talking to my sister-in-law  the other day and she said something I'm SURE is true:
 "I bet Marma (Trent's mom) used to wish that Trent would have kids just like him, for pay back!  What she probably didn't think of was that his wife would be the one cleaning up all the messes!  Marma's probably thinking "oh, poor Nicole, I guess shouldn't have wished a mischievous child on Trent" now!""

I think she is right.  Marma, as you're reading this, just think back to all those times you wished that wish, then come pick up Ila and take her to water the flowers and give this mommy a break!  :):):)  For real though, I'm super thankful that you are so involved in our kiddos lives, and that you DO watch them often to help us out and to spend some quality time with them!

On the the story now.

It was Saturday afternoon and we had company.  The company was some family, and they had boys ages 8 and 10.  Ila LOVED the boys and had been happily playing with them all day! Trent was out grilling burgers and the boys were out playing on the new tree swing Trent rigged up.  I was inside, getting the meal ready and gabbing away with my 2nd cousin once removed.  About twenty minutes had passed and I realized that I hadn't seen Ila swing by the window at all. I popped my head out the door and asked Trent if Ila was out playing.
 "Nope, she hasn't been out here at all." He responded.

I figured he was joking, so I asked again, and he responded that she REALLY hadn't been outside AT ALL.

Horror struck my brains.  I knew that we were in for a mess.

I called out Ila's name, and heard her respond from the depths of the house, "yeah?"

My stomached churned as I realized that she was most certainly in my bathroom, unsupervised.  My faithful readers know what can happen in the bathroom when Ila is in there unsupervised.

I walked quickly, thinking I could stop whatever was happening before it got worse.  Boy, was I wrong.  That damage was DONE.

I got ready to turn the corner, ready for anything.  Well, almost anything.

It hit my nose first.  Poop.  The smell of poop.  It smelled too strong to be in the toilet.

I braced myself and entered the bathroom.

There she was.  Standing by the toiled, COVERED in something dark.  All over her legs, her hands, and worse,  HER FACE.  By her mouth, her eyes, there was dark stuff everywhere.  Then on the floor, right in front of the toilet, a nice log of poop.  It looked fairly untouched....

Do I vomit?  At this moment I'm pretty sure poop is all over her face.  I say something to my cousin, who is right behind me about vomiting.

Then I see it.  Right in Ila's hand.  HOPE!  A mascara tube, and on the floor, near the poop, the mascara wand.  I look over Ila again and realize that she is covered in BLACK stuff.  Mascara had been rubbed all over her face and body.

I breath a sigh of relief and praise the LORD that my child had not covered herself with her own poo.
I get ready to reprimand Ila, and get her in the shower, when my cousin tells me that I should take a picture. I agree, so I take the picture and then get Ila in the shower.  Then daddy came in, shocked as I was, but in no mood for picture taking.

We got the mess cleaned up, and saw that Ila had poked the poop a bit with the mascara wand, so that went in the trash.

At this point, I think I'll just show you the picture and end this post. I drew some panties on Ila, because we don't do the naked photo thing!

All I can do is bow my head and shake it.  One day I'll belly laugh over this, but I'm just not there yet.