35 weeks of change.

It's hard to believe that I'm 35 weeks along in this pregnancy and living in Idaho, although not in our own place yet. 35 weeks ago we lived in Washington and Trent had a job. We were pretty excited about growing our family and thinking it was a great time to do so, since we had a steady income, a home, insurance and a nice healthy family and marriage.

A lot of thing can change in 35 weeks. As my body has grown, the saving account has shrunk. As our little baby made a nice home in my uterus, we have lost ours. Thankfully though, Trent and my relationship has grown stronger, as has our relationship with Ila. We can thank God for that, because as we lean on Him, He teaches and grows us together, and that my friends is a good thing. I'm not saying this 35 week road has been easy, because it really hasn't. I'm not saying it was fun, because it wasn't. I'm not saying I would gladly do it again, because I wouldn't. What I am saying is that the Lord loves us a whole lot, and without Him I'd be a wreck.

Now is a time for celebrating. Trent starts his job on Monday, and we will probably (maybe hopefully is more accurate, but I'm going to be optimistic and go with probably) be moving next week or next weekend. If the moving guesstimation is accurate we'll have enough time to get the house in order and possibly relax for a few days before our new little one comes. I am on the edge of my seat about the housing thing and I think my nesting is fighting for SOMETHING to organize and get ready for the new arrival. I'm curbing the urge as much as possible and hoping it comes roaring back when we are finally in the house!

I also have to mention that Ila is wearing big girl panties today. We've had her in slightly padded panties since we started potty training (back in July/August) but we finally (after 2 solid weeks of no poo in the pants) made the switch. She was pretty excited about them (possibly because Aunt Telcia and I were so excited). She even pulled her pants down to show her Daddy her big girl panties. He didn't find that as humorous as I did... It was strange having a child completely pee potty trained and night time potty trained but still pooping her pants. She would run off and poop in private, and then come say "uh oh, poopoo!" Not my favorite thing ever. I'll tell you the secret that finally did it, LEMON DROPS. That girl would do just about anything to get a lemon drop. She LOVES them. Every time she would poop in the toilet we would give her one. Now, the second she hears her poo plop in the bowl she yells "LEMON DROP!!!" I can't wait till she poos in a crowded public restroom!

Now, back to the 35 weeks of change. I've had my doubts and wonders about why this pregnancy and the unemployment happened at the same time. Here is what it has come down to: The truth is that there is sin in the world, and we are all sinners. Some people chose to act on some sinful behavior and that threw our lives into this whirlwind. It is just part of life on this earth, dealing with the repercussions of our own sin and others sin. Just because we love the Lord and do our best to serve Him does not make us invulnerable to the sin of others. Sin is hard and hurtful, but how great is it that it all gets washed away and we will one day not have to live in it?!

I see now how this is still a good time to grow our little family. Things don't seem so perfect or so lined up but it is God's timing and our choice in family planning and things don't have to be perfect for it all to work. We were never promised a life full of perfection, consistency, control or routine and this 35 weeks has shown me that so much. I'm grateful that God is still teaching me, and that I am teachable! Our little bundle of joy will come into this world loved deeply, and will be well cared for with or without a job, with or without our own place, but certainly not without God and all his awesomeness!