as they say, "truth will out!" by nicole

Since this is "my" (i use quotations, because it's really Trent's and my blog) I feel I should be honest with my readers. I was about to get on here and mention that I was pretty sad by the lack of interest in my Recipe Challenge, to find that one of my readers had finally let me know how theirs went. I sure appreciate the feedback! I didn't expect 100 people to take on my challenge, but I was hoping more then 2 of my sister-in-laws would take it on! But really, all of my sister-in-laws didn't need the recipe challenge, as they all are like me in the kitchen, and like to shake it up. Now that I've been honest with you about my feelings, I'd like to move on and discuss something that has been on my heart the last week: HONESTY.

I'm going to go ahead and say that I think Trent and I are very honest people. Not just in the "we don't lie" kind of way, but in the "we share our lives, feelings, thoughts and faith with each other and others" kind of way. I am NOT saying we do this perfectly (because we don't), and sometimes we totally fail in honesty, but we give it our all! This is not always easy, but it is genuine, and it is done out of love. I'll also go ahead and say that honesty and love are very intricately woven together, and that being honest is an act of love, and being dishonest is an act of evil. That may sound harsh, but it's pretty clear in the Bible.

In the book of John, Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees about freedom in truth. You could also say that Jesus is speaking to them about the Freedom (being saved) there is in the Truth (Jesus). He goes on to speak about the opposite of truth, lies. He says "He (Satan) does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies." Notice that Jesus says "the father of lies." not "the father of lies about who I, JESUS am." Satan is not the father of lies about faith only, but about lying, period. It is also said in the book of Revelation that "no one who practices abomination and lying, shall ever come into it ("it" being the Kingdom of Christ)."

As for love and honesty being intricately woven together, check out Corinthians where it says that "love...rejoices with the truth."

So, with that scripture in mind, and my head full of thoughts I'll move on. The question I feel we must all ask ourselves is "what IS honesty?" This is what I think we generally assume honesty is:

-not lying

-not cheating

-not stealing

But what about these:

-telling the whole truth

-being genuine

-telling yourself the truth

-not sneaking

-not hiding your feelings/emotions

-seeing things for what they really are

-being straightforward (not in a rude kind of way, of course)

Now, let me say that I do not think it is necessary to go sharing every detail about your life to everyone you know in order to be an honest person. I WILL say, that I think it is of the UPMOST importance to be honest with YOURSELF and your spouse. I'm talking about putting into practice all the things mentioned above, not just some of them. And let us all pause to think about this:

If you are not honest with yourself, how can you possibly be honest with others?

Now, about children. I think it is quite possible to follow all of the above with your children as well. Of course, this does not mean sharing every intimate detail with them, and letting every moment of all of your emotions and feelings show. That would be silly, and totally inappropriate. But depending on age, maturity and who your kids are as individuals and what you know about them, it is totally possible to walk in complete honesty with them.

But what about others? Other family members and friends? Well, I don't think it's all too difficult. If there are people that you share your life with on a regular basis, you should be honest with them on a regular basis. Once again, that is not sharing every intimate detail of your life with them on a regular basis, but putting to use the above mentioned honesty traits with what you do share on a regular basis.

Personally, I find the area I struggle with most, in terms of honesty, is in communicating my hurt feelings to others. I've gotten much better at it with Trent, but I find myself stewing about things, rather then talking to the person that lit the fire under the pot of stew. It's hard to communicate hurt feelings to others, because it means being vulnerable, forgiving and perhaps self learning (and changing) that may be difficult to accept. What I mean by this is that sometimes we find ourselves hurt by what people say because what they say is true, and we don't like whatever this truth may be. I find this happens a lot in marriages. Who can call me out on something quicker then my spouse, who lives with me and sees me live my life?!

So that's something that had been on my heart lately and I hope you find it encouraging and applicable to your own lives. And let me know how your culinary experiments are going too!